People often have this misconception that older singles are just being picky. I know I’m really open-minded and always give guys a fair chance, but sometimes that criticism starts to put doubt in my mind. I start to wonder what I did or what I am doing wrong to be in this situation. When people keep giving you advice on how you should be acting in order to get married, you start to believe that it must be your fault and that can really get in the way of doing what you should be doing which is staying positive and not falling into despair.

Sometimes I look around and see what's out there. Of course I don’t want to say that all the good guys are taken, but truthfully, sometimes it does feel that way. The thing is that I have no doubts that men feel the same way about the single women. But it doesn’t make sense to me. If the good guys think all the good women are already taken, and all the good women think all the good men are taken, why aren’t the good men and good women meeting up?

Someone forwarded me a great article this morning that I wanted to share.

What I realized is that it’s probably not only the singles that have the problem described in this article, in fact lots of people must. When people who got married easily, at a young age, criticize or "give advice" out to singles, they often don’t realize how difficult it is for a mature self-aware adult to accept the choice of potential spouses they are faced with. These people are used to their own spouse and their friends spouses and don’t realize that we are dealing with a completely different reality.

I think singles out there who read this will be somewhat comforted by it and I hope others who read this will get a bit of insight into the situation we’re dealing with with.

Why Are All the Good Hubands Already Taken?
By Aron Moss

Question:
Here is the dating paradox: Why are all the good guys already taken? Why are my friends' husbands all such wonderful people, and the guys I meet all seem to be missing something?

Answer:
It's not that the good guys are taken--it is that a "taken" guy is more desirable. Loving and being loved brings out the best in us. So a guy in a relationship does have something that the available guys are missing--someone to love.

A painting will always look better once it is framed and hung on the wall. A couch is far more attractive in a home than in a showroom. And people are more beautiful when they have found love. The human soul is only truly itself when it has opened up to someone else.

When we love someone, we are more alive. Our feelings are more vivid, our sensitivity is heightened and our personalities flourish. When we are loved by someone, we feel more confident and free, content and complete.

We can share love with our family and friends, but until we find our soulmate we are only half a person. It is when man and woman come together that they are the image of G-d, they are complete.

You can't go furniture shopping in someone else's living room. And you can't compare the guys you date to your friends' husbands. A complete person doesn't need you. A half seeking their missing half does.

Feel your halfness, and recognize the halfness in another. Then you'll find there are plenty of wonderful guys out there. One is waiting for you. Without you, he's only half the guy he could be.