Thursday, April 26, 2007

I collapse into his inviting embrace
uneasy with the intimacy
– at first


craving the safety
– urgently

hesitantly mouthing what he expects to hear
eager for the moment when we’ll connect
– finally

I close my eyes

corporeal constraints cease to exist
if only for a few seconds
..............I welcome the refuge

reminding myself that this is our time
alone
existence encapsulated

where being is doing
I hold him and rock him in my arms
bonding

searching for the courage to unload
what my heart conceals
and my mind yearns to forget

I fight the impulse to step back, reminded that even when
He doesn’t need
to hear it,

I need
to say it

that
which I don’t trust
and don’t want
and don’t allow
anyone else to know

he has witnessed and heard and felt
He knows
but there is no shame between us,

............the one time
............and the one place
............and the one way
............I can let go
............completely
............and connect
............completely
............and believe and feel and trust
............completely

............that I’m not alone

both aware than once I take those
three
steps
back

I’ll leave him behind

looking at me
longing for me

hoping that maybe this time
I’ll keep the connection alive until
we meet again.

41 Comments:

At Friday, April 27, 2007 9:13:00 AM, Blogger The Dreamer said...

Beautiful poem.
Love it, actually.

I'm going to pray right now...

But what's with the pic?
It doesn't exactly evoke wonderful images in my mind...

 
At Friday, April 27, 2007 9:39:00 AM, Anonymous anonym00kie said...

thanks..

 
At Friday, April 27, 2007 10:43:00 AM, Blogger Scraps said...

Wow...such an approach to tefillah! I'm really impressed.

 
At Friday, April 27, 2007 12:22:00 PM, Blogger The Dreamer said...

mooks - no prob.
any time.

Have a great Shabbos!

 
At Friday, April 27, 2007 12:38:00 PM, Anonymous beryl said...

and i thought you were talking about your bf.....
hmmm maybe you were

 
At Friday, April 27, 2007 1:42:00 PM, Blogger Bas~Melech said...

Beautifully expressed.
Reading this helps bring back the feelings that I often lose.

(I didn't see any pic...)

 
At Friday, April 27, 2007 1:44:00 PM, Blogger nuch a chosid said...

wow. so beautfully expressed

I didn't get it at first, seems that those Hungarian roots I have.... effect me, so I get things slower.... but once I do....

another great one by you

 
At Saturday, April 28, 2007 6:49:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Subtle, clever and very literate. Nice one.

 
At Saturday, April 28, 2007 11:54:00 PM, Blogger Lvnsm27 said...

wow great imagery

 
At Sunday, April 29, 2007 3:49:00 AM, Blogger Bas~Melech said...

Nuch -- I believe the word you are looking for is "affect."

Sorry, back to the featured programming...

 
At Sunday, April 29, 2007 10:03:00 AM, Blogger the only way i know said...

how stunning mooks
i sorta knew what was coming..
but love the message it holds between a lover and loved one as well

 
At Sunday, April 29, 2007 12:16:00 PM, Blogger David_on_the_Lake said...

wawaweeewa...
Unreal. The way you expressed that..

People complain of the fact that prayer is required and therefore not personal somehow..
But you've shown how intense and personal it can be ..The reason why its required is because the body tries so hard to sever the connection and most of the time we listen to him...

 
At Sunday, April 29, 2007 4:30:00 PM, Blogger Chasidishe Shaigitz said...

And I concur with all of the above :)

Awesome.

 
At Monday, April 30, 2007 9:25:00 AM, Anonymous anonym00kie said...

Scraps..
dont be.. its a rare occurence.. unfortunately!

beryl..
if i was talking about a bf, i wouldnt be sharing it with you guys..now would i??

Bas~Melech...
it inspires me too to know it can be this way

nuch a chosid..
better late than never :)

Anonymous,
lvnsm27,
Chasidishe Shaigitz..
thanks

the only way i know..
you should have told nuch :P

David_on_the_Lake..
the required prayers are just tools, like giving someone you love a gift, flowers, a kiss. what makes it personal is the deeper intentions and emotions that accompany it. no reason it should be any different with G-d.

 
At Monday, April 30, 2007 11:23:00 AM, Blogger anonym00kie said...

i have two questions for you guys
- do you find this post cliche? if so, is it the topic or the way it's written..?
- do you find it inappropriate?

I've heard some comments in private and I'd like to hear what others think.

 
At Monday, April 30, 2007 3:35:00 PM, Blogger frumbabe said...

yishakaini mnshikos pihu. well said!

 
At Monday, April 30, 2007 5:14:00 PM, Blogger Chasidic Buchar said...

Its not only a truly master-piece, it tell something about you as a person.

inappropriate? how's that??

 
At Monday, April 30, 2007 5:22:00 PM, Blogger Maven said...

i really liked it, especially these verses:

that
which I don’t trust
and don’t want
and don’t allow
anyone else to know

he has witnessed and heard and felt
He knows
but there is no shame between us,

...i was just talking to G-d today (in my car) and your words so very much match my own experience. not only was the poem excellent, but it's comforting to know i'm not alone with my private darkness. others have it, too.

thank you so much for sharing.

 
At Monday, April 30, 2007 9:37:00 PM, Blogger The Dreamer said...

not cliche at all.
it's a new take on an old topic, which is absolutely awesome!

and totally not inappropriate.
just written on a mature level, that's all.

 
At Tuesday, May 01, 2007 11:29:00 AM, Blogger Scraps said...

I think it's beautiful. :)

 
At Tuesday, May 01, 2007 1:09:00 PM, Blogger David_on_the_Lake said...

Ein chodosh tachas (or tachat) hashemesh

Theres no such thing as a new topic..

There are cliche ways of talking about them...this was definitely not cliche..

 
At Tuesday, May 01, 2007 5:06:00 PM, Blogger Limey said...

i agree with dreamer

 
At Wednesday, May 02, 2007 9:19:00 AM, Anonymous anonym00kie said...

Chasidic Buchar ..
so glad to see youre back!

Maven..
sometimes it really does feal like its the only time and place when you can be completely open and honest. i think thats why there have been times when i was very 'disconnected', not praying, not into the whole thing and i felt a painful loneliness eventhough i was surrounded by people. keep talking to g-d in your car, i think thats why He loves us womyn :P

The Dreamer..
but i wouldnt want to show it to my rabbi (and hes an adult :).. doesnt that say something about its appropriateness?

Scraps..
Limey..
David_on_the_Lake..
thanks!

 
At Wednesday, May 02, 2007 12:47:00 PM, Blogger The Dreamer said...

really? your rabbi's an adult?
lol.

not really. if you had an older woman/mentor, would you show it to her?

I wouldn't show a lot of what I write to my Rabbi. Nothing to do with inappropriateness, Just with the fact that you know him and he knows you and you're a woman and he's a man.

Get the difference?

 
At Thursday, May 03, 2007 2:05:00 AM, Blogger Oberon said...

.......fabulous.

 
At Thursday, May 03, 2007 1:43:00 PM, Blogger Sara with NO H said...

If I was talking about a bf I'd share it lol. This was really beautiful...I love the relationship you portray...

 
At Friday, May 04, 2007 12:53:00 AM, Blogger Maven said...

david_on_the_lake...i agree that the poem's tone was not cliche, it's also not a chiddush. think of shir hashirim.

 
At Sunday, May 06, 2007 1:40:00 AM, Blogger Chaya said...

wow! beautiful. really portrays our relationship with the Holy One is a new light. its not routine. it's beautiful.
thnaks

 
At Tuesday, May 08, 2007 12:42:00 PM, Anonymous The Cow said...

mooooooooooo

 
At Thursday, May 10, 2007 2:54:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are fine as always. Nothing cliche about it, in my opinion, one should take it very intimately with Him. Closer to Him than to any human, and with greater union.

 
At Tuesday, May 15, 2007 10:18:00 AM, Blogger The Dreamer said...

hey mookie! you gonna be writing something new any time soon? I miss your posts...

 
At Tuesday, May 15, 2007 12:20:00 PM, Anonymous Patrice said...

Bonjour, ici Patrice
Comment allez-vous ?
Je vais bien
Tu peux m'aider ?
Comment dit-on Mookie en français ?

 
At Tuesday, May 15, 2007 12:26:00 PM, Anonymous Patrice said...

O Canada, terre de nos aïeux,
Ton front est ceint de fleurons glorieux.
Car ton bras sait porter l'épée,
Il sait porter la croix.
Ton histoire est une épopée
Des plus brillants exploits.
Et ta valeur, de foi trempée,
Protégera nos foyers et nos droits

J'ai oublié
Je ne suis pas du Canada.........

Je m'ennuie.......

A plus tard, A bientôt Au revoir

 
At Tuesday, May 15, 2007 12:28:00 PM, Anonymous anonym00kie said...

tu as oublié que tu n'est pas au canada..
mais si tu était au quebec.. tu t'en souviendrais..

 
At Tuesday, May 15, 2007 12:58:00 PM, Anonymous Patrice said...

nous sommes absents vous

 
At Wednesday, May 16, 2007 11:01:00 AM, Anonymous patrice said...

Vous ne pouvez pas oublier les quebecois qu'ils sont toujours dans votre visage

the preceding should read
nous ennuyons de toi

my bad

 
At Wednesday, May 16, 2007 11:43:00 AM, Blogger yingerman said...

Sorry
Non parley voos fransays
Just wanted to say that I miss a good daven.
It seems that my regular standard tefilla is just, well, standard.
I have had moments where, I just sob uncontrolably for a minute then continue.
Makes you feel like, just for a moment, that G-d reaches out to stroke your cheek, and just you know that Hashem does love you.

 
At Wednesday, May 16, 2007 11:47:00 AM, Anonymous anonym00kie said...

totally. this is what this was about. one of those rare times when i really experienced that. 99% of the time it's very standard, but it's worth working on for the 1%, i tell myself

 
At Wednesday, May 16, 2007 12:34:00 PM, Anonymous jean luc said...

yinger, use double negatives in french
non -pas

 
At Wednesday, June 06, 2007 6:40:00 PM, Blogger the sabra said...

wish i had more thumbs to express my admiration for this one

 
At Thursday, July 19, 2007 9:04:00 PM, Blogger jewmaican20 said...

Oh, wow. This is really nice. Heck, it's amazing.
By the way, i like the picture that you posted above ( the one with the END sign...)...

 

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