Tuesday, September 26, 2006

..she'yikartu oyveinu...


Saturday morning, 1st day of Rosh Hashana, we get to shul and we start hearing the rumor..
Bin Laden is dead!! He died of typhus!
WHAT A SHOCK!
My first thought is.. it’s the LEEKS.
Just the night before we ate leeks and dates, and other fruits and vegetables with a blessing asking for our enemies to be destroyed, and all I can think is.. wow it worked!

All of rosh hashana none of us could check the news and so we celebrated the rest of the holiday believing that maybe, just maybe our rosh hashana fruits and vegetables killed America’s most wanted. We did what the USA wasn’t able to do with its 25 million (billion? gazillion?) dollars, and we did it with produce!!

Well it turns out they were just rumors, leeked to the French news, and none of it has been confirmed..
I still believe our leeks are way more powerful than America’s weapons, but I guess we’ll have to wait a little longer before we can prove it!


David Letterman -Top Ten Signs Osama Bin Laden Isn't Really Dead

10. He's appearing in Atlantic City this weekend with Tony Danza

9. He's been updating his MySpace page all week

8. Called Mike and the Mad Dog this afternoon to complain about the Giants

7. He's captain of the Muslim team on the all new "Survivor"

6. New issue of "People" has photos of him canoodling with Nicole Richie

5. Empty case of Yoo-Hoo was recently discovered in lawless border region of Afghanistan

4. Spotted at Al-Qaeda's annual "Lunatic Father-Son Cookout"

3. During Fashion Week, he unveiled his fall line of turbans

2. Why do you think Whitney and Bobby split?

1. New tape featuring Osama declaring Jihad on tainted spinach

22 Comments:

At Tuesday, September 26, 2006 10:56:00 AM, Blogger David_on_the_Lake said...

lol
Hmm the rumours didnt make it south of the border..

However if any one of those things on DLs list were true...that would mean that the leek worked..as well

 
At Tuesday, September 26, 2006 5:12:00 PM, Blogger Limey2001 said...

What "siman" do you eat for a good shidduch? honey for a honey
stay away from the beets

 
At Tuesday, September 26, 2006 8:01:00 PM, Blogger ~ Sarah ~ said...

lol we didn't get those rumours either but the power of a vegetable at the right time... who knows!

(limey: thanks for that advice ;)

 
At Tuesday, September 26, 2006 11:10:00 PM, Blogger skepticbentorah said...

The good thing about being in Israel is by the time the rumors hit us, they have already been disproven. maybe it's because we're seven hours ahead.
I'm sure you all heard about the siman of raisin 'n cellery (raise in sallary). corny.

 
At Tuesday, September 26, 2006 11:47:00 PM, Blogger wandering said...

funny ;)

 
At Wednesday, September 27, 2006 1:59:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

what are leeks?

 
At Wednesday, September 27, 2006 7:55:00 AM, Blogger anonym00kie said...

the g:
there's a picture of them on the post!
we eat it when we say
"baruch.. she'yikartu oyveynu vesoneinu ve'chol mevakshey ra'atainu"
i think its called 'karti' in hebrew

 
At Wednesday, September 27, 2006 11:41:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

where's a good Shabbes goy when you need one?

 
At Wednesday, September 27, 2006 3:37:00 PM, Blogger A Frum Idealist said...

very cute.

the craziest siman that I heard was eating raisin, celery and lettuce as a siman to:

lettuce (have a) raisin celery....

 
At Wednesday, September 27, 2006 5:40:00 PM, Blogger Limey2001 said...

Mooks whats asparagus soup a segula for?

 
At Wednesday, September 27, 2006 9:39:00 PM, Blogger Nemo said...

Don't know what you people are talking about, I saw Bin Laden in Uman.

 
At Thursday, September 28, 2006 4:28:00 AM, Blogger the sabra said...

"Well it turns out they were just rumors, leeked to the French news, and none of it has been confirmed.."

was that pun intended or not?

 
At Thursday, September 28, 2006 12:20:00 PM, Blogger Lvnsm27 said...

great top 10

 
At Thursday, September 28, 2006 2:03:00 PM, Blogger hisbonenus said...

Wow - this post is reminiscent of the day in 4th grade when my teacher told our class that if you write "amalek" on the bottom of your shoes, every time you stamp your foot, you're killing another bad guy.
Leek does seem much more effective, though.
And lol at #2 - I can just see Osama checking out all the semi-clothed chicks on myspace and changing his template all day long.

 
At Thursday, September 28, 2006 2:53:00 PM, Blogger anonym00kie said...

test

 
At Thursday, September 28, 2006 6:49:00 PM, Blogger FrumGirl said...

I didnt hear these rumors. Oh well, would have been amazing had it been true! You are so witty!

 
At Thursday, September 28, 2006 7:53:00 PM, Blogger socialworker/frustrated mom said...

Love that pic. Very funny!

 
At Thursday, September 28, 2006 10:24:00 PM, Blogger Chasidishe Shaigitz said...

Funny.

Kinda amusing cuz I had just posted last night and for some reason I ended up using osama and a BBC reporter, and I didnt even know of any of this news.

 
At Thursday, September 28, 2006 11:00:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hurray for dead enemies
hurray for 10 most wanted dead lists
hurray for biblical passages that encourage such things
hurray for outdated desert psychology

 
At Friday, September 29, 2006 7:57:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is addressing my previous comment.
I didn't mean to get carried away with my reaction to the post, disrespecting the poster and the posters' beliefs.

I was being reactionary. Perpetuating the aversion that i am averse to.

My need was simple but became distorted.
Can you eliminate sickness by removing and destroying sick people? No.
Same thing with terrorism, you need to address the factor of what brings it about. You can't use force to do such things.
That was my point.

Please accept my apology.

 
At Friday, September 29, 2006 8:09:00 AM, Blogger chaverah said...

lol, great picture! the funny thing is i didnt even know what leek was until this year.

 
At Saturday, September 30, 2006 9:41:00 PM, Blogger anonym00kie said...

sarah:
‘the power of the vegetable’, I like that :)

skepticbentorah
Corny..but worth a try :)

limey2001
regarding 'siman's related to dating.. you know i alwasy have a hard time when its time to eat the date with the proper kavana.. my mind just wanders..
and re the asparagus, asparagus stalk is a segulah for stalking asparagus! duh!

nemo
jealous lubab :)

the sabra
puns are corny enough, no need to make them more painful by stating the intent!

hisbonenus said...
was she serious?! Cuz that would explain a lot of what I see on the ffb blogs
(j/k)

anonymous:
maybe I wasn’t so clear..
i DO want ben laden dead. i think he brings darkness to the world, destruction, discord, pain, disconnection.
BUT hes just a symbol
when i pray for my enemies to be destroyed - im not praying for ben laden, or nasralla, or the iranian dude..and im definitely not praying for entire nations to be destroyed - they are just pawns.. im praying against the forces that bring about these people, im praying for a world where light and clarity guides us, and not where we stumble around in darkness not knowing our left from our right from and our brains from our bums.
sorry for the misunderstanding.. i'll keep my mind open if you keep yours open :)

 

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